Beach Blanket Boredom

In case you didn't know...this is what the beach in NJ looks like at the crack of dawn.

In a Word

Just a quick recap of some things that have been going on in this US of A.

Miley Cyrus pics - so?
Philadelphia crime - typical
Obama - doom
McCain - gloom
Clinton - persevere!
Gay marriage ban abandoned in PA Senate - bravo!
American Idol - yawn
My recent trip to Florida - serene
Economic stimulus - gimme
Work-related issues - bleccch!
Single, normal, available gay men in Philadelphia - nonexistent
The media's treatment of Hillary Clinton - shameful

Biggest Loser

Seems like during every election, or every term of office for that matter, someone somewhere digs up the dirt on politicians. I usually yawn at sex scandals which, to me, is an issue between the politician and their spouse. It is kind of gratifying though when vicious anti-gay public figures get caught in compromising positions with their male lovers...but that's another story.

Anyway, what bothers me is that, while Obama can't control the words that come out of his pastor's mouth, he can completely disassociate himself from that pastor. Instead he pretty much spun it to say that we need to create a dialogue about race relations. I think the fact that a black man running for President has created dialogue about race already. In my opinion the various states which he's won in the primaries are an indication that America is not as racist as his pastor would like us to believe.

I can tell you right now that Obama will not get my vote. I think he's shady and racist.

When we constantly focus on color, that's all we see. We need to get to the point where we can refer to someone without mentioning their race, sexuality or gender.

Vote for Hillary.

Dunklish

Let me start by saying that I think Dunkin' Donuts coffee is the best and I drink it every day--sometimes twice a day. However, I have a problem with their latest ad campaign. The one that implies that their competition uses a mixture of French and Italian words to sell their coffee and that Americans are either too stupid or too uncultured to pronounce foreign words.

It's thinly veiled behind the notion that their competition uses a Franco-Italian hybrid--Fritalian--to hawk their java. But the ads basically tell us that Starbucks is pretentious and we're American brutes. The best part is that the ad is for a Dunkin' Donuts LATTE.

So Dunkin' is using an Italian word for their product. Shouldn't they call it MILK?

I'm annoyed because the words "latte", "capuccino" and "espresso" have entered into the English lexicon much like "pizza", "parmigiana" and "pasta" have. Our language is peppered with French and Italian words. Sixty percent of English is derived from Latin.

I see nothing wrong with Starbucks using the word "venti" for their 20 ounce coffee. Venti is twenty in Italian. You wouldn't go to Don Pablo's and request that they rename their burrito or chipotle sauce. It's moronic.

What makes this campaign even more ridiculous is that every Dunkin' Donuts that I've visited in the tri-state area is staffed by broken-English speaking employees. You're telling me that I can't pronounce "cafe au lait" because Americans are stupid, but your employees don't know the word "coffee" or "bagel".

The Phrase That Pays

Lately my manager and my director have been using certain phrases that are a bit unnerving to me. When they refer to various male associates from other departments, who they suspect are gay, they mention that they're "snazzy dressers" or "dapper". Sometimes they call them "characters" or "pompous".

When I question them further they just brush me off and say "you know what I mean." I invariably reply "no, I don't." Maybe I'm being overly sensitive, but I know they love to gossip and there's no juicier bit of gossip than someone's "alternative" sexuality.

When I know or realize that someone at work is gay, it's kind of comforting to me. At least I know I'm not the only one and, even if they don't acknowledge me as another gay person, it's still good to know. I guess I should keep my eyes peeled for other "snazzy dressers."

In other news...I saw the weirdest thing the other day: two sparrows fighting over a discarded chicken wing. I guess if you're starving you'll eat anything.

Non Sequitur

I'm finding it hard to concentrate on the current roster of wannabes on American Idol. No one really stands out as of yet. Although I have to admit that that Luke Menard is kind of cute. His voice is kind of high-pitched and he's not the greatest singer, but he's cute just the same.

I actually haven't really been concentrating on much lately. Work has been soul-crushingly overwhelming. When I get home I just want to crash on the couch. The worst public transit system in the universe, SEPTA, doesn't help either. Not only are the buses/trains on their own confusing, ridiculous schedules, but the passengers are escapees from either prisons or madhouses.

Anyway...I've kind of starting seeing someone. It's in the early stages. Rather than jinx myself I'd prefer to keep the details to myself, but suffice it to say he's a nice guy. Lately I've become utterly Seinfeldian in the sense that I get rid of prospective mates for my own set of neurotic reasons: weird hair, annoying laugh, mispronounciation of certain words, misspelling, etc. That being said...I think this one may be around for at least a little while.

In April I am off to Florida. My ex Scott is going to meet me there. We're going to hang out for a few days. I'm looking forward to getting away.

In other news, I've been enjoying the Sara Bareilles album. It's fantastic.
Nothing else going on at the moment. More to come.

Glamour Puss

I saw this pic at Kitty Wigs and laughed my butt off. A portion of the proceeds from wig sales goes to the ASPCA. Classic.

Urine Idiot

You know I'm not one to complain...ok...that's just ridiculous. Let me start over. I've noticed a trend recently in the men's room at my workplace.

A unit of IT people has moved to my floor which is made up demographically of males of Indian or Pakistani descent. They are constantly going to, leaving or using the men's room. Ok...maybe they're just bored and need to take a walk. Whatever.

The issue I have is regarding their total lack of men's room etiquette. You know the unwritten guy rules that govern the use of the side-by-side urinals. If a man is using the urinal and the stalls are available...you head into the stall to give the man who is using the urinal some space. If both stalls are in use, then it is permissible to use the urinals regardless of who is already there.

It freaks me out a little when I use the urinal that, when someone comes in, they invariably stand next to me and unzip with no apologies.

I don't know if it's an IT thing--maybe they are basically computer nerds and don't "get" the social aspects of daily life. Maybe it's a cultural thing of which I have no knowledge. Either way I'm not digging it.

Also, they have the tendency to bring food and drinks with them into the bathroom. I can't begin to throw up enough to show my disgust at that bit of nastiness. How do you put a tupperware of whatever you're having for lunch on top of the urinal while you're using it??

And finally...they read the newspaper while they're in the stalls and then just leave it on the floor when they're done. And not folded neatly, but strewn all over like they were really angry about the day's news.

Ok I'm coming off really neurotic, but I've been thinking of using another floor when nature calls.

Like The Corners of My Mind

Today is Ralph's 45th birthday. Tragically he is unable to celebrate. A horrible accident has left him immobile, unaware and unable to communicate for the past seven months. I take comfort in my belief that his spirit has left his body and is free from the prison of his hospital bed. If my new age spiritualist hocus pocus is off the mark, I hope that he is truly unable to feel pain, fear or desperation.

I kept waking up last night and I couldn't figure out why. I think he was reminding me of his day.

In his memory I'd like to recount a funny story.

I was driving up through Bucks County, PA with Ralph in the passenger seat. We were headed toward Lahaska and New Hope to do a little shopping and soak in the sunshine of a clear spring day. As traffic slowed up a little on Route 63 we noticed that a police officer or fireman was standing in the middle of the road with a large cup in his hand. He smiled and chatted with the passing motorists who slowly cruised past him.
In anticipation of our approach to the civil servant, who was clearly collecting donations for a local charity, I turned to Ralph and asked him for some money.

Ralph looked at me like I was a lunatic and said "For what?" I replied that I needed cash to put in the officer's cup. The car in front of us had their window rolled down and the cop stretched out his cup-holding hand toward the driver.

Ralph begrudgingly handed me $3 and as I came up to the officer I attempted to place the money in his cup...which was full of coffee. The policeman looked at me and burst into laughter. He put his hand on my shoulder and thanked me, but he wasn't collecting money, he was directing traffic. I'm so dumb sometimes. Ralph and I laughed the whole rest of the way to Lahaska.

2007

Wandering selfless
blazing through
unhinged
unheld
gone mad by consequence
found lost through incidence
left bare by diligence
unwrapped
unraveled
sent wishes to empty skies
left listless spirits behind
rent history with my eyes
unbound
unwanted
flying reckless without moving
lying soulless without proving
unsure
undone...