Don't Call It a Comeback

I was reading about Nell Gwynn today. Hans Holzer, famous paranormal investigator, did some research into the hauntings at a theatre in London. Through psychic mediums he was able to piece together events which occurred during the Restoration.

Nell was not only an actress, but King Charles II's mistress...one of them anyway. Turns out Nell was cheating on the King with a man she loved, John Molyneaux. Through a medium Hans ascertained that a man named Fortescue was sent by the King to murder the errant lover. A duel ensued on the stairway and then up to the roof where John was fatally wounded. Crushed by the loss of her lover and knowing full well that she was out of royal favor her spirit is said to roam the theatre causing frights and wreaking havoc on those who perform there.

Nell is said to have had great wit during her life--not unlike Dorothy Parker's famous quips. The Comte de Gramont, in his memoirs, noted one of Nell's witticisms from 1681:

"Nell Gwynn was one day passing through the streets of Oxford, in her coach, when the mob mistaking her for her rival, the Duchess of Portsmouth, commenced hooting and loading her with every opprobrious epithet. Putting her head out of the coach window, "Good people", she said, smiling, "you are mistaken; I am the Protestant whore."

Classic.